Members of My In-Group Are Eternally Virtuous Victims
And whenever anyone critiques us it's because they're bigoted or stupid
People have been critiquing my in-group on Twitter lately, which is making me really mad because clearly they know nothing about us/know everything about us but are still against us nonetheless due to their inherent evilness. I sent a volley of replies to my critics calling them fascists and communists and terrorists and racists, which should take care of things for the time being, but for you others I wanted to set the record straight.
Yes, from my time to time, my in-group will do bad things like misrepresent facts or use caustic language or murder a morbillion innocent children, but you have to understand: we’re being made to do that. It’s not our fault.
If you knew anything about history—by which I mean, if you had grown up in the same exact social environment as I and consumed the exact same media and been imbued with the exact same worldview—you would realize how virtuous we really are (murdered children nothwithstanding) and how barbarous the out-group is!1
Every time a member of my in-group does something bad, you need to consider the circumstances and history and context behind their actions—this will show you that we’re not really evil after all. In fact, it’s the treacherous out-group who placed us in those circumstances in the first place that made us do all those heinous things which really aren’t that heinous if you consider that we were forced to do them and you consider that actually those heinous things were significantly over-hyped by the media, who are nefariously determined to destroy us.
Due to our dire circumstances, whenever we do something magnanimous or generous, this is a sincere expression of our good-will and beneficence! But you should keep in mind that when the out-group does something seemingly nice, it’s usually a ploy to lure you into a false sense of security. I hate the out-group.
If I know my history—and let me tell you, I am very well versed in one particular narrative of history—the out-group is always plotting for revenge. And can we really even call it revenge when their actions are totally unprovoked?
The children were bound to become barbarous members of the out-group one day anyway—better to murder them now rather than later.
Knucklehead.