We Must Admit Taiwan into NATO

The only way to restrain the malicious Cathayan beast

Do you care about democracy and freedom, or do you not? Do you support the rules-based international order and are you willing to defend it at any cost, or are you a CCP stooge? These are the questions we must be asking ourselves. But too few of us are willing to face up to the harsh realities of this fraught geopolitical moment.

FACT: China is communist, and communism is the inherent opposite of democracy. Communism is not only an economic paradigm but also a internationalist geopolitical agenda that implies territorial expansion, including into America. To quote an astute Redditor, China “has taken the Soviet Union’s place as the cartoonishly evil power of the world.” For example, China has invaded its close neighbours literally countless times in the last 45 years. As China becomes less democratic, it becomes even more communist. Please consult the graph:

Source: Glenn

FACT: Taiwan is a Western country. Most of its population lives on the western coast of the island. And Taiwan has been the most democratic, liberal, and peace-loving country in East Asia, especially from 1949 until 1987.

FACT: America is the indispensable nation. And it, along with its Western allies, is the only geopolitical force in the world that acts out of benificence rather than revanchism and malignant imperialism.

FACT: The Chinese military has confirmed that it will be invading Taiwan (along with South Korea, Japan, France, and Guam) next Thursday. The time has come for our global coalition of liberal democracies (America, Germany, Rojava, Saudi Arabia, Israel, Ukraine, and Turkey) to take on the Axis of Villainy and Nefariousnes (Russia, Cuba, China, Serbia, North Korea, Iran, Hungary, Venezuela, and Turkmenistan).

QUESTION: “But wait, won’t letting Taiwan into NATO make China invade it?”

ANSWER: Irrelevent. Acting on the principle of supporting democracy and the categorical imperative to enlarge NATO are the sole things that matter. Taiwan has the right to join NATO; China does not have the right to militarily respond (due to its communist nature).

What to do?

I’ve assembled a list of three geopolitical actions to initiate so that we prevent WWIII:

FIRST: we let Taiwan into NATO and give them a handful of nukes so they can retake the rogue CCP provinces that have split from the Repulic of China.

SECOND: we annex east Turkestan and Tibet into America, becoming the 51st and 52nd states. Boom: four new Democratic senators.

THIRD: we funnel money and weapons to our Muslim freedom-fighting brothers in Chechnya and our Jewish freedom-fighting brothers in the Jewish Autonomous Oblast. Their official flag is literally the pride flag:

April Fools, comrades.