confessions of a former woke

✨poetry is always lowercase✨

the diversity, equity, inclusivity, group-rights conceptualization of humanity and vengeful quasi-Marxist but worse victim-victimizer narrative … all goes to make up the progressive ideals of the carnivorous sheep who now rule this sad and blind land.

— jordan peterson, celebrated public intellectual

i used to yell about america’s original sin
and the exploitation of the proletariat
deplatforming conservatives made me grin
and i would make a big affair of it

i used to believe in socialism
my hair was dyed blue
i thought january 6 was a cataclysm
there were pronouns in my bio too

but since then i’ve watched lots of prager u
and joe rogan and charlie kirk and fox news too
i’ve done lots of research on x (formerly known as twitter)
now i distrust the fair sex (they’re awful, you should really reconsider)

i used to protest against israel at harvard
now i hate the deep state and love to say the r-word
i listen to kanye and i own a gun
instead of being vegan now i kick animals for fun

i used to think pepfar was a noble cause
now i’m concerned about big transgender and paper straws
i used to read the new york times and tweet “slava ukraini”
now instead of a pussy hat i wear a q-anon beanie

the left hates america
and i find them unappealing
whenever a liberal speaks i scream
FACTS DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

in 2020
i was woke
my blm keffiyeh
was bespoke

i knew all the right refrains
my privilege was in check
i could condescendingly explain
how bigotry intersects

i took a backseat. i did the work
i sat my white-ass down and listened.
i centred bipoc voices and worshipped greta thunberg
and advocated for prison abolition

but screw that shit; i’m sick of it
america is turning into skidrow
join me in saving the west from these woke moralizing hypocrites
by investing all your money in crypto

up yours, woke moralists. let’s see who cancels who.

—jordan peterson, celebrated public intellectual